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Viking lure

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ArdentAngler View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ArdentAngler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2020 at 9:53am
And for those wondering, yes all true, and I am on good grounds with a majority of constabularies. After being pulled over and uttering the most ridiculous nonsense, they become fond of those encounters. Some veterans would pull me over just to see the rookie’s reactions. Now it has become a rarity, sucks getting old. I occasionally see these guys at our local Dunkin and still joke with them. Awesome people, wouldn’t want their job though. Even those chats have led to some pretty crazy stories, but I’ll leave those out.
Actual encounters I’ve had, unfortunately verbatim.

Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over”
Me “You were lonely and wanted to chat?”
Officer: you were swerving, violently.
Me: I was trying to get your attention, I thought you had dosed off. It would look bad for you if such reckless behavior wasn’t noticed, I’ll tell sergeant (x) you were doing a good job.
Other time Me: I saw a squirrel and got excited, you know officer I break for squirrels as they are my spirit animal. Ya know I once saw a bigfoot here, big hairy bastard had legs like my aunt. (Cop actually broke into tears laughing at me, told me just go on my way)
Officer:Your lights weren’t on. Your dash says Pussycat, that’s cute. (My dash was covered with a rug and in pink cursive the word “Pussycat” was embroidered in large effeminate print)
Me: Yeah I stole the car from a little old lady, sweet ride eh? I sometimes forget I have night vision, There they are on now (I have since sold this car by the way)
Officer: You haven’t been drinking have you
Me: Been nursing this coffee awful hard
Officer: I mean intoxicating beverages
Me: what my girlfriend I and do in the bedroom is none of your business, how dare you!
Officer: What, no! Alcohol, have you been drinking!? (Starting to get flustered)
Me: Oh, no. You should have lead with that.
Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: Not fast enough, you were behind me the whole time. You know tailgating is illegal right? Geez those new Dodge Chargers you got are quick! (Whether mortified or astonished by my honesty he let me go)
Sorry Chris, just want to set the record straight if at all possible. Though I may be labeled a bit crazier than Martin now?
Any thoughts on a follow up lure continuing with the Viking theme? You have so much potential with this lure and a set would be magnificent!

Not gonna lie, a set opens up Nicho to create a unique chapter for each and I need to hear more. On the edge of my seat with those cliffhangers. If you do make sure I get one.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nicho Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2020 at 12:04pm
Originally posted by Nicho Nicho wrote:

Originally posted by Nicho Nicho wrote:

Originally posted by rodsncods rodsncods wrote:

Originally posted by Nicho Nicho wrote:

[QUOTE=Nicho]
PAGE 1
I can see Martin Horror head now, standing at the front of his Viking vessel,
stroking the hand carved fugly lure that adorned the bow of his majestic ship
as they entered the bay to Britain.
His sword raised above his head, he ordered his fellow Pagens to row, and row hard to shore.
The battle of Hastings may of just ended! but rumour had it that the new
KING, "William the Conqueror" had a large collection of lures stashed in an unguarded Monestry which had now come into site through the thick mist.
Horror head was frothing at the mouth with anticipation.
There may be more "FUGLYS" in there than any man has laid eyes on! he claimed.
ROW men ROW! he screamed in a chilling almost delirious voice, his big hand stroking the figurehead of the now fast moving vessel.

                           to be continued.


PAGE 2    His army of men watched in disbelief,
        as Marty feverishly polished his figurehead!
    Would this be just another anti climax!? they wondered?
      In the distance, the sheppards could be seen,
        frantically rounding up their flocks.
     The BAAHS came echoing back from the cliffs,
   as the goats noisily huddled together in large groups
             their sphincters tightly clenched.
          The Pagens rowed harder than ever before
          in anticipation of the spoils to be had

          The vessel hit shore with great momentum,
       Horrorhead was catapulted from the bow of his boat
     with such force, that he broke his figurehead in 3 places!
           at first there was complete silence,
           then A loud sigh of relief was heard
           coming from the direction of the goats.

                         



                      to be continued

PAGE 3
    Horrorhead lay deathly still on the shore, tears welling in his eyes.
    His men sat still, oars in hand, waiting for a sign of life.
    Up on the cliffs, the sheppards watched down in bewilderment.
The goats stood still, other than the nervous twitching of their sphincters                    
                    there was no movement at all.
               A deftly silence had fallen over the bay.

   Horrorhead slowly regained his composure and gingerly rose to his feet.
          he winced as he adjusted his figurehead as best as he could,
                    he raised his sword above his head.

                  A "ROAR" of excitement came from his men.
      The goats gasped, holding their hoofs to their mouths in fear.
                 The sheppards fled the surrounding hills,
            and the monks headed back inside the monastery to
              slip into something a little more comfortable.

   
                             TO BE CONTINUED

PAGE 4
                        Nightfall fell quickly over the bay
                 the lanterns shone bright,the flames flickering,
               seductively casting shadows on the monestary walls.
             Horrorhead and his men made their way up the cliff face,
                          taking advantage of the darkness,
                      they planned their attack, as they went.
                     The goats silently moved along the track,
                        walking backwards just to be safe!
                  All the time, keeping their eyes firmly fixed
                         on the approaching Vikings.

               Horrorhead raised his hand to signal his men to halt.
           "Did anyone hear that"!? he whispered with a quivering voice.
                   Hear what? whispered one of his men.
          The panic could be heard in Horrorheads quivering voice
           as he answered, Im sure I heard someone speaking Korean?
                     with a Scottish bloody accent!
        Surely not!!!!! Cried HORRORHEAD!!! How could this be!!!!!!!????

       IN the distance, high on the ridge, a formidable figure could be seen.
                    The bag pipes played loudly,
           it was Sinclair himself, belting out a few tunes on the bags!
                 The goats promptly turned around in a trance,
                   and headed up the cliff at a canter!

               Horrorhead slammed his hand to the ground,
                     this cant be happening he cried!
               last I heard "Sinclair" was back in Norway!
                           visiting the Normans!!!

                          

                           TO BE CONTINUED

PAGE 4
                  
              HORRORHEAD beckoned his men to come forward
              all the while snickering loudly to himself.
              He leant in close, his eyes wide open
                  thick saliva dripping from the
                     corners of his mouth.
            he began to whisper in a maddened yet shaky voice,
              

                          We will attack
                    "first thing in the morning"
                      Under the light of day!!


       Daylight!? But they, they, they will see us! his men exclaimed!

     We will stand out like a "pretty goat" at a "wet market" one replied!

                  Sinclair will "have our bloody heads"
               before we reach the monastery! cried another.
                     I think you should reconsider.
           Maybe your injury is affecting your decision making!?
      
                             "RELAX"
                  I have a plan HISSED Horrorhead,
        he reached down and carefully adjusted his figurehead,
                     sweat beaded off his brow
                            follow me!
        his men looked at one another and raised their eyebrows,
            then slowly made their way back down the cliff
                 and climbed aboard their vessel.
           Get a good nights sleep lads" called Horrorhead
                      We attack at daylight!


                             TO BE CONTINUED       

   
      
       


            
           
                            


           







































































































































































































































                                                                                              

                            
    










this is wrong on soooooo many levels. martin stroking too many things, sphincters tightly clenched, goats, I don't think i'll read the up coming verses ………………………..not . . . .mick
Nichos Maulers Homemade timber lures....THEY CATCH FISH!

YA DONT KNOW...IF YA DONT GO...SO GET OUT THERE AND... FISH IT
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ArdentAngler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2020 at 11:20pm
Nicho- engaging as ever, the great battle of the Tin Ram vs the Korean Irish impaler begins. A story of blood, glory, and goats!

(We will stand out like a "pretty goat" at a "wet market" one replied!)
Bet Mick enjoyed reading that line.

Chris- certainly learning a lot about you and your heritage. I thought that you were Tairish mate, my bad. Gotta say haggis stuffed with kimchi might be the new food trend? Actually might give it a try in the near future. I call dibs on coinage of this novel dish. No one ever thought turducken would be a thing.

Have you finished the Viking lure yet?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote horrorhead Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2020 at 3:27pm
I am overwhelmed by how overwhelmed I am about this post. I think I’ll sit back and take it all in- might need a few beers though
Martin-

you don't havta be pretty to fish
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rodsncods Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2020 at 3:36pm
overwhelming martin . . . mick
BEER IS PROOF THAT GOD LOVES US AND WANTS US TO BE HAPPY!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nicho Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2020 at 4:33pm
Originally posted by rodsncods rodsncods wrote:

overwhelming martin . . . mick

There's a verse in that Mick :)
Nichos Maulers Homemade timber lures....THEY CATCH FISH!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ArdentAngler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2020 at 5:42pm
Nicho- Don’t know whether we should be ashamed or proud of frazzling Tin Ram?
Reminds me of the time Chris the Impaler and Tin Ram were touring with KISS; As the story goes Martin lost his feces when Chris taped over his lamb chop special with Friday nights Jeopardy episode. In some atavistic rage Martin tore apart a holiday inn room screaming the words to “the song that never ends.” Chris, a notorious prankster continued these gags until being thrown out for biting the head off a cat…Which Ozzy mimicked years later. The rampaging and trashing of hotel rooms became a staple in metal from there on. Guess this added to the edginess and popularity of the band according to the VH1 behind the music episode?
Another fun fact: Martin invented the “sign of the horns” and showed it to Ronnie James Dio, who has since took the credit.

Everyone knows know that Chris the impaler was Vinny Vincent, guess that was obvious and ancient history now? But which member of Kiss is Martin? I’ll leave that a mystery…Ah yes the 80’s where Tin Ram was in Twisted Sister and Chris went on to moonwalk out of that scene.

Nicho- think I served another ball in your court sir, have at it!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote puglee62 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 May 2020 at 10:31pm
Vinny Vincent?,yes thanks Charles that was meLOLLOLLOLLOL
our Viking is finished ,he even swims i an happy to say ,not that he is likely to be fished

that's no how ye make porridge!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote p.j. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2020 at 2:55am
Awesome Chris simply just awesome Thumbs Up ClapClapClapClapClap
P.J. LURES
SO SMOKING HOT
EVEN CUSTOM DOGS LIKE THEM
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rodsncods Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2020 at 6:09am
. . . .mick
BEER IS PROOF THAT GOD LOVES US AND WANTS US TO BE HAPPY!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ArdentAngler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2020 at 6:22am
Thought you would get a kick out of that Chris. That is a stunner and very mysterious lure you got there. All in all you did a smashing job turning that blank into something from left field. Supreme imagination and skill, cannot wait for the next one.

Think you should fish it at least once? Losing that Viking to Valhalla would send anyone in fit of depression though. Love the etching, what did you use to embellish the metal?

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote p.j. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2020 at 6:57am
Looking at it again I have to say
Like the Scales on the bib Embarrassed
P.J. LURES
SO SMOKING HOT
EVEN CUSTOM DOGS LIKE THEM
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote edzard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2020 at 12:46pm
Awesome Chris👍 Love to see a Greeny hanging of it😁😁👍
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nicho Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2020 at 7:03pm
very special lure mate well done
Nichos Maulers Homemade timber lures....THEY CATCH FISH!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Danny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2020 at 7:32pm
Well done Chris. Bloody cracker. 
Dan
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote puglee62 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 May 2020 at 5:03am
Originally posted by ArdentAngler ArdentAngler wrote:

Thought you would get a kick out of that Chris. That is a stunner and very mysterious lure you got there. All in all you did a smashing job turning that blank into something from left field. Supreme imagination and skill, cannot wait for the next one.

Think you should fish it at least once? Losing that Viking to Valhalla would send anyone in fit of depression though. Love the etching, what did you use to embellish the metal?

just drew a pattern that was taken from a picture i saw of the prow of a viking longboat,i drew it on with a permanent marker then used a dremel with an engraving bit to etch it in then just polished it up 
that's no how ye make porridge!
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Originally posted by edzard edzard wrote:

Awesome Chris👍 Love to see a Greeny hanging of it😁😁👍
yeah!naaaa!LOLLOLLOLLOLWink
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nicho Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 May 2020 at 5:37pm
Originally posted by Nicho Nicho wrote:

Originally posted by Nicho Nicho wrote:

Originally posted by Nicho Nicho wrote:

Originally posted by rodsncods rodsncods wrote:

Originally posted by Nicho Nicho wrote:

[QUOTE=Nicho]
PAGE 1
I can see Martin Horror head now, standing at the front of his Viking vessel,
stroking the hand carved fugly lure that adorned the bow of his majestic ship
as they entered the bay to Britain.
His sword raised above his head, he ordered his fellow Pagens to row, and row hard to shore.
The battle of Hastings may of just ended! but rumour had it that the new
KING, "William the Conqueror" had a large collection of lures stashed in an unguarded Monestry which had now come into site through the thick mist.
Horror head was frothing at the mouth with anticipation.
There may be more "FUGLYS" in there than any man has laid eyes on! he claimed.
ROW men ROW! he screamed in a chilling almost delirious voice, his big hand stroking the figurehead of the now fast moving vessel.

                           to be continued.


PAGE 2    His army of men watched in disbelief,
        as Marty feverishly polished his figurehead!
    Would this be just another anti climax!? they wondered?
      In the distance, the sheppards could be seen,
        frantically rounding up their flocks.
     The BAAHS came echoing back from the cliffs,
   as the goats noisily huddled together in large groups
             their sphincters tightly clenched.
          The Pagens rowed harder than ever before
          in anticipation of the spoils to be had

          The vessel hit shore with great momentum,
       Horrorhead was catapulted from the bow of his boat
     with such force, that he broke his figurehead in 3 places!
           at first there was complete silence,
           then A loud sigh of relief was heard
           coming from the direction of the goats.

                         



                      to be continued

PAGE 3
    Horrorhead lay deathly still on the shore, tears welling in his eyes.
    His men sat still, oars in hand, waiting for a sign of life.
    Up on the cliffs, the sheppards watched down in bewilderment.
The goats stood still, other than the nervous twitching of their sphincters                    
                    there was no movement at all.
               A deftly silence had fallen over the bay.

   Horrorhead slowly regained his composure and gingerly rose to his feet.
          he winced as he adjusted his figurehead as best as he could,
                    he raised his sword above his head.

                  A "ROAR" of excitement came from his men.
      The goats gasped, holding their hoofs to their mouths in fear.
                 The sheppards fled the surrounding hills,
            and the monks headed back inside the monastery to
              slip into something a little more comfortable.

   
                             TO BE CONTINUED

PAGE 4
                        Nightfall fell quickly over the bay
                 the lanterns shone bright,the flames flickering,
               seductively casting shadows on the monestary walls.
             Horrorhead and his men made their way up the cliff face,
                          taking advantage of the darkness,
                      they planned their attack, as they went.
                     The goats silently moved along the track,
                        walking backwards just to be safe!
                  All the time, keeping their eyes firmly fixed
                         on the approaching Vikings.

               Horrorhead raised his hand to signal his men to halt.
           "Did anyone hear that"!? he whispered with a quivering voice.
                   Hear what? whispered one of his men.
          The panic could be heard in Horrorheads quivering voice
           as he answered, Im sure I heard someone speaking Korean?
                     with a Scottish bloody accent!
        Surely not!!!!! Cried HORRORHEAD!!! How could this be!!!!!!!????

       IN the distance, high on the ridge, a formidable figure could be seen.
                    The bag pipes played loudly,
           it was Sinclair himself, belting out a few tunes on the bags!
                 The goats promptly turned around in a trance,
                   and headed up the cliff at a canter!

               Horrorhead slammed his hand to the ground,
                     this cant be happening he cried!
               last I heard "Sinclair" was back in Norway!
                           visiting the Normans!!!

                          

                           TO BE CONTINUED

PAGE 5
                  
              HORRORHEAD beckoned his men to come forward
              all the while snickering loudly to himself.
              He leant in close, his eyes wide open
                  thick saliva dripping from the
                     corners of his mouth.
            he began to whisper in a maddened yet shaky voice,
              

                          We will attack
                    "first thing in the morning"
                      Under the light of day!!


       Daylight!? But they, they, they will see us! his men exclaimed!

     We will stand out like a "pretty goat" at a "wet market" one replied!

                  Sinclair will "have our bloody heads"
               before we reach the monastery! cried another.
                     I think you should reconsider.
           Maybe your injury is affecting your decision making!?
      
                             "RELAX"
                  I have a plan HISSED Horrorhead,
        he reached down and carefully adjusted his figurehead,
                     sweat beaded off his brow
                            follow me!
        his men looked at one another and raised their eyebrows,
            then slowly made their way back down the cliff
                 and climbed aboard their vessel.
           Get a good nights sleep lads" called Horrorhead
                      We attack at daylight!


                             TO BE CONTINUED       

   PAGE 6
      
   Early hrs approached fast, and Martins men roused well before daylight
                      in readiness for the day ahead.
                      They made their way above deck
             jovial and ready to follow Martins plan of Attack!

        As they all huddled together, a deathly silence fell among them.
   A whimper could be heard not far away, and laying on the sand in a fetal
               position was GENE/TIMRAM HORRORHEAD MARTIN
      thumb in finger and tears slowly seeping from his closed eyes.

                 WHAT HAS HAPPENED!!? yelled "ERIC".

      He was here last night!!!! sobbed Martin! while YOU all slept

               WHAT!? SINCLAIR!? WAS HERE!? LAST NIGHT?
    How can that be!? are you sure it was him!? How can you be so sure!?

       "HE TOOK A BITE OUT OF MY BLOODY FIGUREHEAD SOBBED MARTIN" !
                         IT "MUST" OF BEEN HIM!
              EVEN MY EX WIFE COULDNT BE COAXED INTO DOING THAT!


            One of the men named "ACE" GLEEFULLY JUMPED forward and said..
                   Horrorhead I just want you to know.

                        EVERYTIME I LOOK AT YOU
                           TEARS ARE FALLING
                        YOU GIVE ME REASON TO LIVE
                         I WAS MADE FOR LOVIN YOU
                          LETS PUT THE X IN SEX
                      I WANNA ROCK N ROLL ALL NIGHT

      OH for Christ sakes screamed "PAUL"...give him A REASON TO LIVE!

          Horrorhead slowly sat up, propped himself up on one arm
               and looked awkwardly at his new found admirer.
             If we ever make it out of here alive he winked
                    We should consider starting a BAND!

                             TO BE CONTINUED


    


       

                     


            
           
                            


           







































































































































































































































                                                                                              

                            
    










this is wrong on soooooo many levels. martin stroking too many things, sphincters tightly clenched, goats, I don't think i'll read the up coming verses ………………………..not . . . .mick
Nichos Maulers Homemade timber lures....THEY CATCH FISH!

YA DONT KNOW...IF YA DONT GO...SO GET OUT THERE AND... FISH IT
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Martin..horrorhead..GENE call him what you will
Called in to my shed for a visit wearing a strange outfit which confirms his heritage.
Nichos Maulers Homemade timber lures....THEY CATCH FISH!

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Nichos Maulers

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Location: POMONA QLD
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nicho Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Yesterday at 9:05am
Nichos Maulers Homemade timber lures....THEY CATCH FISH!

YA DONT KNOW...IF YA DONT GO...SO GET OUT THERE AND... FISH IT
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Joined: 21 Aug 2013
Location: usa,washington
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Points: 172
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ArdentAngler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Yesterday at 10:00am
Nicho, that is solid gold! You got unequivocal evidence there that all those tales are true. There is without a doubt a striking resemblance between him and that lure to boot.

Gotta love Tin Rams sense of humor, hilarious. That's one for the scrapbook! All you need is a photobobm by Chris the Impaler with a set of bag pipes.
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